soyeonnieee

[fernsehn]

Just unfollowing peeps on social media who TWO DAYS AFTER THE FUCKING OSCARS are in all seriousness (like...in a tone as serious as if the world depended on that fucking award) going on about who of the nominated actors achieved a much much better performance than the one who won like....ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ARE YOU AN ADULT? THIS IS A FUCKING AWARD SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Be at least snarky, entertaining or enlightning or just get the fuck on with your life.

[napitali]

Kids are naturally designed for you to question youself in the matters of philosophy and meaning of mundanity.

So let me tell you a story

My little cousin was staying with me for the holidays and obviously I couldn't babysat her all the time, not to mention I'm not the best with kids, which unfortunately doesn't stop them from liking me for some reason- but that's besides the point.

Since she wasn't leaving my side from the morning to the night and I didn't want to stay up for another whole 24 hours to get some work done, I used the ultimate, revolutionary babysitting technique called "Yes, You Can Download Some Games On My Phone"

Let me tell you, it works remarkably well.

She's got my phone and I've taken my laptop - all is good. But you see, she's that kind of kid who loves to bury you under a pile of questions, so of course she eventually asks what I'm doing.

What I was doing, in fact, was writing a chapter for Calm After the Storm.

Don't get me wrong, normally I would, although awkwardly, start to ramble with all the love and affection this story is always getting from me, but at that time even my nerdy brain figured that excitedly talking about murder to a 6-year-old wouldn't be the greatest idea of mine.

So I go with "Just writing"

And bless her soul she asks "To whom?" instead of "about what?"

At that I, in a purely socially inept fashion, start overthinking and second guessing my life choices, because that's just my thing. I couldn't answer with "my readers". First of, it souned as if I was so full of myself when I rolled it around in my head lol; second - she assumed I was texting and if I've went with that answer she could view it as if I was some legitimate author and kids don't see those often (at least I haven't). Futher questioning would be inescapable and I was really not looking forward to having to say "I write books for adults".

My aunts and their romantic novel loving hearts would eat me alive.

"A friend" wasn't right as well. She would simply hit me with "Your boyfriend?". I would know, because for some reason, little girls these days are obsessed with boyfriends. Don't ask me why; at her age I was searching for a husband for my barbie not myself! But I digress. Anyway, being mocked for my single status by some little shit wasn't on my to-do-list either.

Sure, I could lie and say "It's an important business e-mail I need a vast levels of concentration and undisturbed attention for", but seriously? I can scam responsible adults, but little girls? What am I, a supervillain?

That's how my thought process had become dumb enough to consider "to myself" an excellent answer.

Curiously, my cousin didn't view it as such and went with "how does that even work!?" in the most scandalised voice I've ever heard. Lmao, it was hilarious. So I've teased her a little and we've gone back to our things.

But then she totally nuked me with a petulant "What's fun about writing to yourself?"

And I don't even know what my answer was because my whole head was like:

That's so deep!

Like, my inner philosopher has woken up from slumber and went You. Shall. Not. Pass. on the electrical signals stuck on my brain highway.

While now, I partially write for my readers - because, duh! when you share your stories you can't escape that mindset even if it's just a bit - it started by writing just because. In CAtS case I was writing it for a full year before posting it. I wasn't even considering it before. It happened only because I knew I had the tendency to eventually throw away the things I write and since I've fallen in love with that one I decided that "nah, I won't let you perish".

And now that I think about it, there's something freeing in writing? In my case it's something in the shape of Catharsis perhaps. I don't write my own feelings, my ideals or my own experiences (usually at least), but I always feel better afterwards.

It's like the expressionism but you don't express yourself. You go full analysis mode without even trying.

The next thing is the beauty of what you can come up with. That unexpected creativity, making something thrilling from the scratch and just looking at it blossom into a full-blown story, a whole plot that keeps even you - the author, awake at night. That unknown of "what will I fuck up this time?"

It's great because you can take your time to just sit and notice how great you are. How amazing your thinking is. And it sounds like I'm boosting my ego, which - okay, fair. But seriously, I suck at thinking in a day-to-day life, exactly when it matters, so having the comfort of knowing that "Hey, you. Yes, you. You came up with that. That blast of the story was written by you. This shit's your creation" is something I never knew I needed, but am glad I have it

[gaylittlespy]

broke: new kid/kenny

woke: new kid/butters

enlightned: new kid/scott malkinson

[mythicalpatterns]

I love all the Bi pride and discussions here lately – it has made me feel at home in a way I haven't before when it comes to my own sexuality and I just wanna give you all a big Bi hug <3 I'm so frickin' proud to be a part of the Bi+ family <3

Since it's Bisexual visibility day I thought I was gonna share my story. Maybe it can help someone that feel in a similar way, but mostly it helps me sort things out myself by writing them down. It’s long af because I can’t keep a red thread for my life rn so it’s under the cut for those who wants to read it.

Since hetero- normativity surges through society, I never questioned wether I was straight or not, growing up. I liked boys. I was very much interested in them, maybe mostly because they seemed like a whole other species to me in my teens, and I dreamed of a prince on a white horse and undying love and happily ever after and all that. Because that was what I saw in movies, that was what I read about and it appealed to me. So when I as a 14- year old had a best friend who I always wanted to be as close as possible to, both physically and mentally, who I thought was the most beatiful person I had ever seen, who I wanted to be with every waking minute of my time, I never once thought it could be anything else than friendship. I don't think it EVER even crossed my mind. Even though I got jealous of others being close to her (and she always had a boyfriend), even though I could find myself smiling and giggling to myself at the mere thought of her. I don't remember if I was aware of bisexuality or not, I just know that I never considered being anything else than hetero since the longing for the monogamus hetero- normative dream (aka 'a man comes in and fulfills my life') was so strong in me.

I guess I slowly realized that I was drawn to girls too, or at least that i found them attractive and wanted to kiss them. But I just thought that was a thing straight girls felt and did because you know – guys thought it was hot. I also, just in general struggled with my sexuality, and having sexual desires at all since, you know, women aren't suppose to have that. At the same time as I was deeply ashamed about not having any experience at all up until my 20's.

For a while I thought that the label pansexual might apply to me but then I realized that I didn't feel comfortable with that because to me pansexual meant: attraction to people regardless of gender. And gender does make a difference for me – I may feel attracted to both men and women and other genders but I do not fall for someone regardless of gender – if that makes sense. My attraction towards men and women and others feels different. It is hard to explain but both my romantic and sexual feelings differ, and that's also one of the reasons I didn't feel like bisexual was the term for me. I thought that meant 50/50 and the exact same type of feelings towards all genders.

I've been through so many phases with this – from thinking I was just faking it, you know because it's so edgy and cool to be bi or whatever, to that it's just a phase, to be like wtf who am I kidding I am straight as an arrow. And even when I came to the conclusion that, yes I may be some kind of bisexual, I still thought and felt like ”yeah but I will end up with a guy eventually”. And that hindered me, and still does somewhat, from really getting into any kind of relationship with a girl. Cause you know, i didn't want her to feel like she was just an experiment, I didn't want to be unsure if I was able to fall in love with her (like that's something you have to be sure of to be dating someone) and if I didn't think we were gonna last forever what was the point? I think this had so much to do with habit. I wasn't used to thinking about women in that sense – my big dream about love had always involved a man. I was used to looking at men and finding them attractive and wondering if we might be married some day (lol) and looking at women, finding them attractive and then leave it at that. I was so used to be straight.

Then I wrote an essay about sexual fluidity and when I read studies about that I was like ”omg this is me”. Also, I started to really want to be with women instead of men. Because you know, women are so awesome and I felt that heterosexual relationships were doomed to be problematic in one way or another, regardless of how aware both parts were of patrhriarcal structures and such. I saw my friends struggle in their relationships with men in a way I didn't see my friends in gay relationships did (of course they face other struggles).

I can't really pinpoint how and why this happened but as of right now – I feel the opposite than I did before. I see myself marrying an amazing woman. I rarely look at men in another way than 'oh he's cute'. I love girls so frickin much, they are seriously the best thing on earth omg I can't. And it's like a whole new world and I love it!

I still struggle with the labels. I don't feel entirely at home in the term bisexual. I somehow feel I'm not queer enough to call myself queer. I usually go for non- straight. I can still feel that I am not ”gay enough” when approaching girls I like (though as of right now the biggest obstacle in my non-excisting dating life is my depression). But I know that my attraction and feelings towards girls are valid, I know that sexuality is a spectrum, that it can be fluid and that there probably is as many sexualities as there are people.

Anyway, I love openminded and enlightning discussions about sexuality and romantic/sexual/sensual/etc attraction. It's a whole science and it's amazing. If you ever feel like talking about it in some sense, sharing experiences, asking questions, discuss something- hit me up!

[visitorno18]

True Hypnosis Mic Prompts

So the True Hyp Mic is a prototype that can really hypnotize the person as long as the user sacrifices their life/sanity.

Then I thought... If the characters got their hands on it, what would they do?

Yamada Bros.: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Jiro would give it to Ichi-nii, Saburo would give it to Ichi-nii, and Ichirou would break it into pieces. That’s how young and rightous these kids are.

Samatoki: Reverse Hypnotize Nemu. Yes, even at the cost of his life, he would definitely do that for his sister.

Rio: Re-group his team and break out their leader from Chuuoku. Likely going to sacrifice himself to brainwash one Chuuoku officer to infitrate for them. Something like that.

Jyuuto: Isn’t a fool and will not trade his career for his life. Because his goal involves him being alive.

Ramuda: Will probably sacrifice an Amemura clone to make him think he’s a real boy. :/ Who knows. Pysche over Physio. ?

Gentaro: Probably gonna get Jakurai to use it to heal his brother/friend in a coma.

Dice: Sells it for cash. $$$

Jakurai: Use it to wake Yotsusuji from his coma. On that thought, maybe do a whole room of waking and healing people from their comas. :) And use the collected data for others to study should he die upon using the THM.

Hifumi: Would use it on Doppo to make him optimistic so he can live a life without Hifumi. (Finally get married, excel in work and have a family like all normal people.- So he can finally be happy.)

Doppo: Would use it on Hifumi to cure him from his gynophobia so he can live a normal life without Doppo. (So he can find love, work someplace else without pushing himself and have a family like all regular people.- So he can go on living peacefully.)

Sasara: Would use it on Rosho to make him confident on stage, so that he can teach his students properly.

Rosho: Save it for a rainy day, or when his students/friends would need it.

Rei: HE MAKES THOSE HYP MICS, HE NO USE THEM HYP MICS!!! XDXDXD

Kuko: Haha, like he would ever need to hypnotize people when he’s already enlightned by Buddah and knows everything can be solved by training and conditioning.

Jyushi: This 17 y.o. doesn’t need it. He’s a narcist, he knows it. He don’t wanna change anything and he don’t wanna die. He’s perfect!

Hitoya: Doesn’t need it. He’s got justice and $money$. Coffe and Whiskey. Life is perfect! If anything, he’ll probaly sell it to Jakurai just to get money from him. XP

Just thinking about this made me realize how much more twists the creators of Hyp Mic could add on the characters. I mean, I can’t even grasp how much Rosho cares for Sasara just yet, and what Rosho’s part-time job is. Even the ones that don’t need the mic could have another side story added to their characters. Especially DICE. Like, I’m just guessing what he’ll do, but if Dice had half a brain to realize Chuuoku let out one THM for some random bum to use, they must be planning something sinister. :/ 

[la-petite-arc-en-cielle]

TW mention of police violence and lots of homophobia/lesbophobia

Gosh i can’t stand my parents anymore.

They are super right-wing, always side with the police anytime there is police violence happening (even as of today against students in paris) and they basically are the typical white liberals that Assata Shakur used to criticized (well in their case, with the added conservatism and homophobia >< ) : pretends to be enlightned but actually fashy underneath. FUCK them. And i probaly still have a fucking YEAR to live with them! (and that’s if i finish my master’s degree in time ...)

Fortunetaly they are leaving to go on holiday tomorrow morning and i have convinced them i have too much work to do to go, so that’s a small week without the assholes.

A week without being constantly disrupted from my work schedule by asinine and hurtful remarks about how i talk/dress/ my political opinions/ whathever !

the worst is that the fact that they are ruining my mental health is oblivious to them (they really think they are being good parents) they wonder why i am so distant with them (might have to do with the fact that i know i will be excluded from more than half the family when i get a girlfriend??!!!!)

also i wish i had the mental strenght to get out there a be part of an activist group, but social anxiety already makes it hard for me to even be amongst *friends* (i kid you not) I tried at the beginning of the year to join a local LGBT group but they were too mogai for mean and i barely have the time and most importantly the mental energy for it. It sucks because i realy want to make society a better place, i just don’t know how to get in activist stuff : -behind my parents’ back -without having a mental breakdown because of social anxiety - without failing my master’s degree and having ONE MORE YEAR WITH THOSE IDIOTS

sorry that was rambly and probably depressing, but basically : i can’t wait to be a freelance translator so i don’t have to talk them ever again lol

[yawednesdays-blog]

Summer camp- a time for making friends, crafts, activities….sabotage? Gregor Maravilla has won a stay at the coolest camp ever- Camp Save The World, a place for young activities. But when a celebrity camper and a huge prize  get thrown into the mix, activism turns toxic. See why No Good Deed is your first Must Read for summer!

From the book flap:

He’s not asking for much. All Gregor Maravilla wants to do is feed all of the starving children on the planet. So when he’s selected to join Camp Save the World, a special summer program for teenage activists from all over the country to champion their cause, Gregor’s sure he’s on the path to becoming Someone Great.

But then a prize is announced. It will be awarded at the end of summer to the activist who shows the most promise in their campaign. Gregor’s sure he has the prize in the bag, especially compared to some of the other campers’ campaigns. Like Eat Dirt, a preposterous campaign started by Ashley Woodstone, a famous young actor who most likely doesn’t even deserve to be at the camp. Everywhere Gregor goes, Ashley seems to show up ready to ruin things. Plus, the prize has an unforeseen side effect, turning a quiet summer into cutthroat warfare where campers stop focusing on their own campaigns and start sabotaging everyone else’s.

Overall: No Good Deed was originally titled ‘Eat Dirt’, which would also have been an appropriate title for Moldavsky’s summer camp tale. In No Good Deed, Gregor Maravilla wins a coveted spot at Camp Save The World, a camp for teen activists started by billionaire and activist superstar, Robert Drill.

‘No Good Deed’ was originally titled ‘Eat Dirt’

Things don’t start off well for Gregor. His entire family- parents, kid sister, big brother to his grandpa- think Camp Save the World is a bad idea. And they don’t mind telling him so on the 2 hour car ride from Brooklyn to upstate New York. And as if that’s not a bad sign, Gregor sees a young man holding a picket sign which says DOWN WITH CAMP as they enter the campsite.

Despite the ominous beginnings, Gregor is determined that Camp Save the World will be full of “his kind of people”. Young people set upon the task of solving the world’s problem in 6 weeks of summer. But the people Gregor meets don’t exactly fit the idea of the enlightned campers he had in mind. There are his bunk-mates, one who looks like a male model, one who speaks no English, and one who is the classic alpha-male bully who promptly steal Gregor’s bed and throws his belongings out into the rain. Things are not off to a good start.

Camp life goes from bad to worse with the arrival of Ashley Woodstone, teen A-list actress, who has decided to attend the inaugural session of Camp Save the World for publicity. Gregor seems to be the only camper immune to Ashley’s celebrity charm. The more he tries to avoid her, the more their paths cross. But even worse than having Ashley Woodstone and her entourage as a distraction, the head of Camp decides to make activism a competitive sport. It’s announced that there will be a prize for the Camper who best embodies the Camp Save the World spirit- that camper will get a trip to Florida (Tampa!) and an internship with none other than Robert Drill himself! What Gregor thought was going to a summer surrounded by like-minds exchanging ideas on how to make the world a better place, deteriorates into a do-gooders’ Lord of the Flies.

While the prize for the winner has been made clear, how points are handed out remains a mystery. Like house points in Harry Potter, the counselors have the authority to distribute and revoke points as they see fit. But unlike McGonagall and Snape, none of the counselor are qualified to so much as teach a macramé class, let alone judge the deeds of the campers. And when weekly competitions are announced, things really go to hell. Instead of enjoying camp life, Gregor must focus on campaign life if he wants to win an internship with his idol.

Camp Save the World soon proves it’s concerned with anything but what its name implies. Instead of working together for a greater good, it’s every camper for themselves.

Judge a Book by its Cover: Reading ‘Camp Save The World’ I was struck by images of tall pines, diverse campers, yurts… but none of that is reflected in the cover image. The minimal black background has the impressions of hidden images but the overall effect is a little too subtle for me. I think ‘No Good Deed’ could use a more dynamic cover image.

No Good Deed protest cover

Eat Dirt cover image

Me Talk Pretty: Goldy manages to write Gregor with equal parts sarcasm and sincerity with genuine results. Gregor so wants Camp Save The World to be a place full of “his kind of people” that he never considers that even those who share his beliefs can still be snobbish and cruel.

Audiobook Narration: At the time of publication I could not get a sample of the audiobook. BUT Michael Crouch, one of my favorite readers, is narrating so I’m just gonna give it an advance 5-star audio review until I hear otherwise.

Body Count: Things move from the cerebral to the physical for a camp designed to foster philanthropic young minds. Let’s just say things get….intense.

“Suck Ass Camp!”

The Chosen One:  Gregor thinks he’s the chosen one. And in a way he is. He won one of only a handful of spots to the most coveted camp in the world. But so did every other kid at camp. It’s hard to feel “special” when you’re stuck in a camp full of kids just as equally special.

He Said/She Said: This summer read is full of quotables. Here are a few of my favs:

“What’s your name?” “My name is Gregor Maravilla.” “ I don’t mean your name, man. Your cause.”

Sometimes you have a choice, and sometimes a girl will smile at you like that , an you know that you never actually did.

It was too early in the morning for this fuckery.

Bizarre Love Triangle:  It’s summer camp which means there definitely romance in the air.

Open tab/Last call: Funny and fast paced, ‘No Good Deed’ is all things you want in a summer read. So light the bonfire, we’ll supply the s’mores and contraband. And Goldy Moldavsky, if you ever want an internship in Tampa, we’ve got you covered!

Ann-Eliza

No Good Deed by Goldy Moldavsky releases May 30, 2017 on Point, 345 pages.

First Reads Friday Presents: No Good Deed by Goldy Moldavsky Summer camp- a time for making friends, crafts, activities....sabotage? Gregor Maravilla has won a stay at the coolest camp ever- Camp Save The World, a place for young activities.

[gnelevite-blog]

Catching up on TV series

As my favorite American series’ went on a winter break last year, I started to notice a lot of Korean dramas in the web and as I gave in to the hype, my love for American series shows started to doze off. Four out of my ten american tv series are long overdue in catching up because korean series > american series (imma be doing a separate post). :) :) :) HA!

Anyway, thank God I still have my senses and chose to cling to some of my best of the best favorites (meaning: shows that are so close to my heart I can’t afford to miss an episode).

Santa Clarita Diet 

A Netflix original series, horror-comedy show. I was already aware of this show last January but it was only two weeks ago I started watching it. It’s a 10 episode series so I finished it within 2 days. Hahahha, it was so enlightning to watch sans the gory disturbing scenes but I guess that’s what makes it so special- every episode was so candid. I loved it. I wonder if there’ll be a season 2 *cross fingers. Imma give this 5 out of five stars and I recommend this to people who likes horror, zombies and comedy. 

Riverdale

This show has a combination of Gossip Girl meets Pretty Little Liars set-up. A modern yet 90′s vibe in the making. This show started really strong, making every viewers even me craved more after every episode. Its crazy, I loved it. Of course it has a string of romance here and there - I’m personally a Bughead shipper <3 ughhh im so obssessed with them. I love all the core four - Archie, Veronica, Betty and Jughead, my favorite new kids on the block <3 perfect five stars for this series!!! *planning to do a separate post for this 

Teen Wolf 

Another show coming to an end :( hoping Stiles (played by Dylan O’ Brien) will still be in the last season and I hope they will give a full blast ride as they reach its end. Stydia gave me all the feels on 6A though its a bit rush and force I still love them. Looking forward on: characters comeback, more action scenes, Scott and Stiles scenes, family/pack scenes, Scott’s improved leader/alpha in the pack and in this show, and maybe a love interest for him. Five out of five stars, thumbs up. ;) 

Grey’s Anatomy  

Of course, the champion of all. Who doesn’t know GA?! This season was hell of annoying characters development I can not even. The storyline was good and bad here and there, the core main characters is losing its sight or rather the writers are losing the sight of Grey’s Anatomy. But still, I came this far, after 13 seasons still rooting for Meredith and the gang. Soundtrack is still on point so I’ll give this 3.5 stars out of five. The characters and storyline are really out of place right now, its messed up. :/ 

New Girl 

I am beyond happy my favorite borders are still on-going, I thought season 5 would be their last so I was ecstatic to hear the news they got a season renewal!!! Yayyyy *sigh this show is like HIMYM but more comedy and has more of Jess, Nick, Cece, Schmidt and Winston!!! + a lot of more LOL-ed in the process. I hope Nick would snap out of his like/attraction for Raegan and realize his feeling for Jess that was never gone all along. Gahhh, pls be a happy ending for Jess and Nick. I’d just love to see a scene where Nick will man-up for Jess and confess. 5/5 stars for my favorite people, rooting for everyone of them. 

The Vampire Diaries 

I’m gonna make this short as I’m also planning to do a separate post for this. Mixed emotions, I don’t know where to start :( I cried sad tears for every characters. No happy tears actually, this is the first tv series I started to watched. I grew up watching TVD, still a fragile topic. :/ anyways, 4/5 for the last season but a perfect five for the whole show. 

The Liar and his Lover 

A new Korean drama I’m watching. Gonna do a separate post for this one too. But after watching the first four episodes, I must say I’m inlove and obsessed with it. I’m swooooned. Perfect five stars.

So these are only some of the shows I’m watching, if you have any suggestions on what should I watch next may it be American or any foreign shows, do comment pls. Thankyou!

tii then, happy reading 

☁